George Lucas raped my childhood

At the moment, I am currently pecking away at this keyboard, preoccupied with filling this space with some movie reviews. Why am I not lined up with the rest of my fellow Wookies, in anticipation of Revenge of the Sith?

Reason No. 1: The Phantom Menace

Reason No. 2: Attack of the Clones

No big surprise, right? Despite that, a big part of me wishes I was there, fake lightsaber in hand, and buns on both sides of my head. Revenge looks pretty promising, and seems like it'll be pretty dark. But oh well, I'll just wait until the crowd dies down. Until then, here are some movies you may want to think about watching (if you haven't done so already):

Sin City

Loved this. Probably one of the most faithful comic book adaptations ever, right down to the color filters for inks and storyboards for cels. It was gruesome, violent, noirish and pulpy. If "Watchmen" gets taken as seriously, I'm so there. If you thought that "Eternal Sunshine" changed your view of Elijah Wood, think again. That being said, watching Jessica Alba make out with Bruce Willis really skeeved me out. That may have been the most disturbing part of the movie. Yech.

Ring 2

Can't say much about this. Not terrible, just not very good. Kinda stupid, and not very scary. The sequel lacked the sense of momentum and building tension that the first movie so very carefully crafted with recurring motifs and a distinctive editing style.

Audition

Extremely creepy. I think I'm scarred for life. Japanese movie about a widowed TV producer who decides to find a girlfriend by holding false "auditions" for a fake tv show. Of course, the object of his desire turns out to be a complete psychopath. Again, I found the age difference to be really disturbing (52 and 22).


We watched the last three movies the the span of one week, so I found myself having extremely bizarre and unpleasant nightmares. After the third one, I asked Zack to rent movies that didn't involve torture or psychopaths (at least for a little while). After that, we watched the following:

Ocean's 12

Not as bad as I thought it would be, but still not as good as the first one. There were some interesting camera work, but the antagonist kept making me think of Monty Python - "Ah'm Frennnnsh! Wah elze do you deenk ah haf dees outRAAGEous accent???" Now, I think that capoiera is pretty badass, but practising capoiera in a pair of white MC Hammer pants with no shirt in a room full of green lasers does not look particularly badass. And besides, the Thomas Crown Affair did the same plot, but better (and without the capoiera).

Sideways

I really didn't see what the fuss was all about. How the hell did this movie garner so many Oscar nominations? That "Eternal Sunshine" got shut out is all the more galling. This is a road movie is about two pathetic losers entering mid-life crises who go on a bender. One is a self-pitying alcoholic and the other is a narcissistic sociopath. Neither of them really learn from their experiences, so there's no character growth. I don't need to go to the movies to watch that- I have my office. Don't get me wrong - I didn't think it was bad, and there were a few funny parts - but overall, I found it boring.

In Good Company

Not the type of movie Zack or I would normally go for (Zack expressed extreme reservations), but I'd heard good things, and it had Topher Grace and Scarlett Johansson, plus Selma Blair makes a cameo. We were both pleasantly suprised to find that we really enjoyed it. Like About a Boy (another excellent Weitz brothers-directed film), the romance is not the central focus of the story, but the relationship between the two male leads is. Dennis Quaid plays a middle-aged ad exec who's dismayed to find out that he has a (very green) new boss that's half his age, played by Topher Grace. To add insult to injury, this boss starts dating his collegiate-aged daughter. Smart, funny, and with excellent performances (even by Dennis Quaid), this is a "feelgood" movie that Zack and I actually liked.

Kingdom of Heaven

What can I say? I liked this movie, but I can't say I didn't have my (ahem) biases. The Pier One lawn furniture, and the flimsy romance though, has to go. For a more objective review, I look to Zack, should he choose to give one.