Moving offices remind me...

There is something intensely satisfying about cutting away the useless stuff in my life. I used to really look forward to the moment in which I would be forced to toss something I'd become attached to. It felt sad to let go, then I would repeat to myself the primary lesson I learned as a boy: "Attachment is weakness. Weakness is bad." Afterwards, I always felt stronger.

I don't get the same thrill from throwing things away anymore. I don't want to ever be so comfortable with materialism that I forget that there's a whole other realm of pursuit, a spiritual path. I will just let go when I need to, hold on when I can, and pray for wisdom to know the difference.

I shouldn't even write this

Can't sleep at night. I am considering drugging myself (with legal OTC sleep stuff) tonight if this sleeplessness persists.

It's good anxiety, but it's anxiety nonetheless.

Gym-tastic

I sit today in quiet glee. Thirty-three years old, I have finally joined a gym. I don't want to lose weight, and I am not really looking to get stronger. What I am hoping for, in short, is a chance to dodge a family curse.

I doubt other males in my family payed attention to this moment in a man's health. Cardio exercise helps keep the heart in shape. Men in my family have bad tickers. It's before things start going south that you have to address fitness. I find myself at the very edge now, when I feel good but I haven't done enough to keep myself healthy. I am not feeling heavy moving around. I focus the efforts on getting the heart rate up.

I am choosing to avoid heart disease and other chronic diseases that men in the family get by taking baby steps into cardio town. Could this simple choice make such a huge difference that it can write off genetic dispositions? Not without a lot of other decisions to follow through on some kind of program.

I am happy that I took the little step of elevating my rate to the good zone for about twenty minutes this morning. Tomorrow, the goal will be twenty five minutes.

Silly boy

My wife is right. She's always right! I really should have come to bed immediately when I got home.

Well, what to do have to say for yourself?

So tired...

Look, I am tired of hearing about it too.

I feel such energy and tension today. It isn't going to be fun.

Love, prayers, faith, family can help. I need to learn to trust that God puts these things in my life to help me through difficult periods.