What counts as selling out

Many years ago, I went through a sort of ethnic identity crisis. Oh, who am I kidding? It's still up in the air. Being of mixed ethnic heritage is confusing anywhere; in the U.S. it's sometimes maddening. There are two opposite attitudes at work here. There's the old "melting pot" rhetoric. I'm a good example of what's supposed to be happening: I am a child of an immigrant, thoroughly Americanized, complete with the white last name. Then there's the "Pride" game, where you're supposed to be proud of your roots. I am proud to be Mexican-American, but you know, I don't often fit in with other Mexican-Americans. It's not for lack of trying, nor is it because I'm some spoiled child from white suburbia (come with me and check out my old stomping ground if you need proof).

Anyway, I used to wonder if I was a sell-out to my heritage. Pablo, a very wise Chicano, pulled me aside one day: "When you're a sell-out, you won't care."

So the tension I sometimes feel, that tells me I'm not a sell-out?

I hope that my child can be post-tension. I don't usually feel it anymore.

Whatever happens, I'm sure that being children of my wife will give them quite a healthy dose of cute. Being half Chinese, quarter Mexican, Quarter Irish-English-Cherokee Indian might make them cute too. Let's face it, mixed heritage kids are often cute (myself maybe not totally excluded :>).

Isn't the purpose of having kids to have cute kids anyway? Hope so.